hello,i'm a grown up.

4o days left to be an official grown up.I don't want the ages starting with the number ''2''.
If the things went as i planned,as i wished,as i desired,that day would be the happiest day of my life,announcing the world that now i'm a woman who is where she wanna be.

Its all for nothing.I know,the things you dreamed of when you were a children,seems so silly when you're an 19 old fellow.But,i never wanted to be an astronout.


But still,now that i'm mostly 20,im completely empty handed.
I had my dreams,i had my pretty dreams.

Now that i'm mostly an ''adult'',it hurts even more.

-I never learn how to play the piano.
-I never learn how to sew.
-I never had a sewing machine.
-I never made any piece of clothing of my own.
-I never ''desing'' any piece of clothing.
-I never had long hair.
-I never kissed a boy that i'm in love with.
-I never get as thin as i wanted.
-I just couldn't speak as normal as the normal people do
-I never had a dog.
-My father never hugged me back.


....



But still,it didn't change.
From the age 5 to 19,all i wanted to do was to sew-''to make dresses''.
But still,
i never had a sewing machine.